To write has always been like digging something out of a rut like using a stick for it which breaks halfway through and you have to make do with the suboptimal

Which is entirely a normal and human way of living that still it’s worth bringing into the mind where old dead joys yet smoldering under scorn of jaded masters whose power lies in undead pride.

And so I dared nothing at all except to say it to myself in private in quiet triumph in service more to future posterity and aesthetic considerations than ever to anything like my own happiness which for any person could never serve anything other than a utilitarian purpose

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